Fifth Journey Day 40: Bench, Empty, Facing Water

Date: June 17, 2025
Location: Oulu, Finland

The ferry to Hietasaari was almost empty. There were just a few people there, along with the occasional shuffle of plastic bags or backpacks against the benches. I stood for most of the ride, my fingers curled around the metal railing, watching the dull silver of the water move slowly like fabric. The sky was always gray, but it never got dark. This made every pine needle and every piece of birch bark stand out.

Once I was on the island, I let the trail guide my path. There was no urgency. A sandy path went around some low green plants and damp moss. Every so often, the path opened up to show views of the water. Everything felt quiet. The gulls were there, but they weren't aggressive. They just flapped their wings a few times above the treetops. I passed two people the whole time. Both nodded. We didn't say anything, which felt right.

I didn't draw today. I carried my materials with me, but I kept them hidden in my bag. Instead, I thought about the texture of a rock covered in lichen, and how a yellow leaf from last year had caught between two roots and stayed. I think that's what I needed most: not to make things, not to process things, but to just walk with things and let their stillness hold me.

When I returned to the city, it was raining a little. It wasn't enough to soak, but it was just enough to mist my glasses and slow my steps. I stood a while by the waterfront before heading in. The lights were just starting to come on in the windows. They were a pale gold color against the blue-grey air.

It's a calm day, not a demanding one, but I know I'll always remember it. I will hold my brush differently tomorrow. I focus on my breathing. I can now keep the kinds of silences that I feel comfortable with.