Fifth Journey Day 41: Attention Held in Suspension

Date: June 18, 2025
Location: Tartu, Estonia

The rain today was gentle, like a quiet presence that gently touched everything. Tartu feels small but has many layers. Its buildings rest gently against the sky. After I arrived, I walked to the botanical garden. It was an easy, slow walk through the wet air and slippery cobblestones.

The garden felt like a protected, hidden area. Drops stuck to the edges of leaves, making their veins look like delicate networks. A faint smell like the earth came from the wet paths, and the green of moss made every surface look softer. The glasshouses felt warm and inviting as I walked by, their windows foggy from the inside, like soft lanterns.

I sat on a stone bench for a while, listening to the quiet of the garden. Two sparrows hopped along the gravel nearby, not bothered. The rain got weaker and turned into a thin mist that barely touched my skin, but made the air feel thick and almost like it was real.

What I remember most was the quality of the light — soft but strong, shining evenly through the cloudy sky. It made the textures sharper, but without making them feel rough. Everything felt close, as if the whole garden had leaned in a bit.

I thought about structure today. The hidden structures that support each leaf and shape its growth. Even when it's still, there's a quiet insistence of form. It felt similar to my work — not in subject, but in mood.

Tonight, I am tired in the right way — not from movement, but from focusing intently. It's still raining outside, a light but constant sound against the window.